We have all likely heard the saying around not pouring out from an empty cup, or perhaps putting on your oxygen mask first. But have you ever considered that you might be drilling holes in your barrel?
Recently I was speaking to friends about placing boundaries, they assured me that they were placing healthy boundaries with the people that they gave their time and energy to. After a little more conversation, I found myself asking this question. If your capacity to serve others is like a barrel, and you’ve placed a boundary, which is the equivalent of putting on a lid to protect how much and how often your resources are being drawn from, are you simultaneously placing the lid on and then drilling holes in the bottom of your barrel, all the while wondering why your barrel is depleted?
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
Galatians 6:9
As Christ followers, I know that one of the desires that impacts us deeply is serving well. We want to love others, we want to help, we want to make sure we do all the things God asks of us, and we don’t want to be selfish when we see a need.
There is no question that these are good desires, but I want to take a moment to recognise that there are times when we need to not only place boundaries or guidelines around how we are serving others, but also enforce those boundaries. That is what I am alluding to with the barrel analogy.
If you place a boundary, and then as soon as the boundary is challenged you ignore it, you can be setting yourself up to be depleted, to be weary. That weariness can breed illness, frustration, dissatisfaction, resentment, and a lot of other negative feelings that ultimately will prevent you from serving to your full capacity.
A good example of this is recognising that day after day you are tired, you know you are sleeping poorly, so you make a commitment to go to bed earlier. But rather than protecting that time or creating a routine to help you transition into sleep, you leave your phone on, take it to bed with you, play on it, message people right before bed, and take phone calls with people you know are going to want to talk with you late into the night. If you are doing this, you might be drilling holes in your barrel.
You can serve when you’re weary, I’ve seen it, I’ve done it, and honestly sometimes it’s a season of your life. At the same time, if you don’t take action to help yourself, if you don’t set yourself up to win by creating routines and placing boundaries, or at least a framework for yourself and others to follow, you will quite possibly find yourself slipping into weariness.
I know for me it is difficult, if not impossible, to noticeably carry around the joy of the Lord when I’m running on empty. I’m grumpy, withdrawn, negative, and I have trouble engaging with people and activities when I allow myself to get into this state. I’m also aware that when it comes to evangelism my best asset is me and the life people around me see me living.
If the best tool I have to introduce others to God is my life, and I’m trudging through it as though someone just killed my cat, its very possible I’m not going to be selling the dream.
But, if I make sure that my needs, I’m talking about actual needs not wants, are met, and that to the best of my ability I’m seeking God first in everything I do, ensuring He is solidly in my day, the chances are high that I won’t be running on empty.
There is nothing wrong with serving out of obedience, in fact there are times when obedience, serving when you really would rather not, is essential. But I believe that people can feel when they are being loved on from a place of joy, which means they can likely feel the opposite, our motivations aren’t as invisible as we’d like to believe.
What I am suggesting is that, in the interests of being the best steward of your servant gifts, that you care for your needs, that you place God at the centre of everything, that way when you serve the people around you they won’t just receive you, but from the overflow of your heart they will receive an indisputable blast of the love of God. If we do that, I believe that we will serve with such fervor and joy that unsaved people, and even some of the saved ones, will start asking why we are different, and again we will be able to point back to God.
Karla