In this episode of “Coffee with Phil,” Pastor Phil reflects on his recent trip to Indonesia and shares stories of encounters with people burdened by pain and disappointment. He emphasizes the importance of sharing burdens within a supportive community and turning to Jesus for relief. Phil discusses the benefits of both sharing burdens with others and allowing God to remove them. Through heartfelt anecdotes, he encourages listeners to seek healing and help from the Lord, enabling them to minister to others from a place of healing and strength. Don’t miss this episode filled with inspiring stories and insights on faith and community.
BONUS CONTENT
- Bible Reference: Ps 55:22 Matt 11:28-30 1 Pt 5:6-7
- Previous Episode: Episode 48
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Introduction
Well, good day. And welcome to the podcast. Welcome to coffee with Phil. Welcome to a life where faith is made real, and by that we mean how do we live a life of faith on purpose for the purpose that God’s created us.
So today Look, I’ve just returned from. Indonesia, only a couple of days ago. So, I spent a couple of weeks up there working with people and so it just seemed really timely that I would take the experiences of the last few weeks and things that happened. Some of the things that happened and just share them with you and not so much just for the purpose of telling stories.
But as always, we want to listen. For what God’s saying to us. How can we reflect this back into our world, into our context? What might God be saying to us? Hey, look, I love heading up to Indonesia. Kathy and I went up for a couple of weeks and got to bounce into a new location in Jakarta for a few days. Working with a new group of leaders and spoke at A at a church for the first time, which was cool. It’s always good to be in a new environment and these guys were awesome. They’re rocking. They worship Jesus with everything, and they do it well.
And so, it was good to work with them and I look forward to heading back there next year to do some more work with them as well. I also spoke at a conference…. a couple of conferences, leadership conferences, and I might speak about that in the next podcast.
So, watch out for that one but today I want to… I want to say to you that we should not carry heavy burdens. We should not carry heavy burdens. We’re not designed to carry heavy burdens. It’s not good for us to carry heavy burdens. It’s part of God’s heart. I believe that it is his desire that we would release those burdens and not carry them ourselves and I’ll point to that in a minute.
And this really comes from an experience that we had. You know, we’re up there and I’m speaking at these conferences, Kathy and I also made time to visit our sponsor kids. As a church we sponsor 10 kids at an organisation called Hope Village. Definitely worth checking them out. We’ll put the website link into the description below. And one of the other things that just happens is the parcels that were worth, they feel prompted or ask us to stop in and pray with people. And I know, Kathy says afterwards, she says, man, it doesn’t matter where we go, what we do. That’s the most favourite part for her, is to sit in people’s homes, grand or not so grand.
And there was one lady we visited again a second time. The last time we went there, she was bedridden. She looked grey, her skin was grey. She was gaunt and could almost see through her. And she was just wrought with anxiety and depression and fear. And it was affecting her. She couldn’t get out of bed. She couldn’t eat by herself. She couldn’t go to the toilet. She. Was having to be bathed by family members. In the bed. This is her elderly mother trying to take care of her. But we’re sitting in this home that’s got a, you know, a dirty concrete floor. It’s got timber sacking on the walls with no coverings. There’s a single light bulb in the room. There’s a like an old bed sheet covering half the window to try and keep the rain out. These are very, very different circumstances than what you or I might be used to.
but meeting with these people to pray with them is just fantastic. Well, there was another situation where we were invited to visit a family member, people that we know but hadn’t seen for quite a while, and I want to speak about that. I want to speak about the experience that I had and maybe you can reflect on that.
But before I get into the stories, I just wanted you to think about these two thoughts. Firstly, think about the benefit of a burden shared, you know. One of the Dumb things that we often do is we go through a struggle, and we keep it to ourselves, we think, “Well, I won’t let anyone know. I don’t want them to worry about me or I Don’t want to Feel embarrassed.” And so, we carry this burden in secrecy in isolation, which means we carry it alone, and that is not the purpose of Community. If you’re living life alone without community, then you’re living outside God’s best design for your life, because God created us for community, for the benefit of blessing each other in the journey.
And so that means I want you to think about the benefit of a burden shared. And I want to ask you this question right up front. ‘Who do you have close enough to share the load of your burdens,’ because there are benefits in a burden shared. Please don’t become that person that tells everybody their problems, because that’s going too far the other way. But think about, you know, one or two people that you can reach out to, you can say, ‘hey, I’m just having a rough day I’m having a rough week do you mind if I Share it with you?’ Because a burden shared is a burden halved.
The second thing I want you to think about it just as part of this introduction is think about the benefit of a burden removed and I would say this to say Jesus wants to carry our burden for us. He wants to carry the heavy load with us. Not that we would abandon the responsibility of the journey, but that we would walk in partnership with him while he does the heavy lifting, and we walk in his footsteps. Think about the benefit of a burden removed.
What I did not say is that you can meet with your friends to give them your burden and expect them to do it for you. That’s not a burden shared. If you’re that kind of friend that tries to take other people’s problems off them, then you’re not actually a good friend. You’re trying to be a saviour, and there is only one saviour, and his name is Jesus, and he desires to be the hero of the story.
So firstly, share the burden by listening, but don’t carry it for them. Secondly. Think about the benefit of a burden removed and understand that is God’s whole invitation to do life with us. Look, I don’t like to preach, but I do like to share scripture, so just listen to these three bible verses. We’ll put the links in the notes. You can click them. You can read them later for your own devotional benefit.
But think about what is written in Psalm 55, verse 22. Cast your burden on the Lord and he shall sustain you. He shall never. Commit the righteous to be moved. You know God is glad to carry your burdens and to give you the daily strength that you need. My most favourite verse with regards to this would have to be Matthew 11 and let me read it to you in two different translations.
First of all, Jesus says here in Matthew 11 verse 28. “Come to. Me all who labour and are heavy laden. And I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke, is easy and my burden is light.” Well years and years ago, a young fellow at a church I was attending came up to me one night and he had a verse for me, and it was this passage, but he shared it with me from the message translation.
So, this is Eugene Peterson’s poetic transcription, his personal transcription of the Bible and Matthew Chapter 11 Eugene Peterson writes the words of Jesus this way. He says. “Are you tired, worn out? Burned out on religion. Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me, Jesus says. Work with me. Watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay Anything heavy or ill-fitting on you, keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Oh, I love that translation. I love that passage. Whichever version you’re reading. And I love the mall. Make sure Matthew 11:28 to 30 is part of your reading in the next few days.
Finally, the last one here, Peter writes in his first letter, 1 Peter 5:6-7 Peter says “humble yourselves under the mighty Hand of God that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him. For he cares for you.” Oh man, isn’t this awesome? Yeah, That God our father would want to see our load made lighter because he cares for us. I hope that encourages you.
The Hurt and Pain of Other People’s Words and Actions Against You
What I want to do now is transition to share some stories. There was a family that we visited, and I don’t want to be obtuse, but I’m not going to say names. So, if it sounds a little bit vague, I’m trying not to be specific to the point of identifying people. But there was a family that we were asked to visit, and I’d met them before, in fact, years ago I’d met them and prayed with them in their home when there was some really horrible stuff that had been happening. There’s a connection there, but I hadn’t seen them for years. And this woman that was with us, she says. “Look, would you mind? Pastor Phil, would you mind? Miss Cathy, would you mind Come And stopping at this home?”
And so, it was late one night, we were on our way back from visiting others and I think it was a youth event that I did. We were late and they said “look, would you stop by?” And we’re like, yeah, fine. No problems. And so, we stop, and we meet them in their business, it’s still open and it’s on the main road and its trucks and cars and bikes going past and. And we just sat on these little plastic stools in the front of their business, and they’ve got a cake for us from the local cake shop and they ask, “would you like coffee?” And I was like, no, (I don’t really want to have coffee over there, certainly not very often) but I’ll have a cup of tea. Thank you. Thank you. Black tea. No sugar. No gula. No gula, I say.
And so, through a translator we heard some of the story. And just started to connect with these people and it was just a beautiful time. You could just tell. There was like, genuine fellowship. I don’t know if you’ve got those times or those people you meet with where you’re just like man. This just feels easy. It feels easy. There’s no motivation, no false motive. There’s no trying to impress. There’s genuine. Transparency and we can just laugh and cry and talk together. And that’s what this felt like, you know, it’s 10:00 at night and we’re sitting in the humidity of the Indonesian evening, and they have these taxis there. They’re like. Little vans that drive incredibly fast and the drivers that have them, they probably spent all their money trying to make them look fancy or sexy. And they put big fat mag wheel and tyres on them, and they pin stripes, and they have these air horns and they cut the muffler off and they’re horribly noisy and they go all night. They just drive between towns and cities.
And it probably cost you, you know, four cents to get there. But you get there quickly and hopefully safely, but. Man, they’re noisy, and they are just constantly noisy. 10:00 at night (Brmm Brmm). Past the door and then you get a truck going past or a couple of motorbikes.
So, we’re sitting there, we’re just sharing. And I wanted to share about three different situations. There are three different things that we prayed for this family, three different burdens to stop carrying. And listening to the story of these family members, maybe you might find your opportunity to cast your cares upon the Lord to allow Jesus to carry your burdens for you.
In the first situation. The couple that was hosting us, they were wonderful people, they said, “look, last time you were with us, you prayed, and you happened to…” You know, they said you prophesied, which means that God spoke to them about their business flourishing and being successful. And I don’t recall that time of praying for them, but they did. And they said, look around you. Our business is being very successful, and we give thanks to God for his faithfulness to us. And then they paused, and I sensed something else was coming. And there was a huge but, a big but, and there was a brokenness and a hurt. And a pain. Of other people’s words and actions against them. And they had cut deep and as the woman started shearing. Sort of. Almost. We were praying together and then she just started crying out in Indonesian and I didn’t understand it. But I got the I got the message you Know.
I could sense from the angst, the depth of her cry, that there was a heartfelt pain that she was giving over to Jesus. And you could see her shift and lift. And I actually remember sitting there, her and her husband were sitting side by side on these little plastic stools. And I shuffled my stool forward across the circle toward them. And I reached out my right hand and took her right hand as if I was shaking her hand. If you imagine that. And now I reset my left hand. And I took her husband’s left hand as a, you know, an opposite shake.
And so, we had this circle, and they were together, and I was connected to them and. To be honest with you, I got a front row seat to just their expression of their hearts cry before God as they release these burdens and I did pray for them a little and I did lead them a little, but to be honest with you, I think what I was witness to was that concept of a burden shared and a friend that would be willing to point them to Jesus as the one to walk with them.
And I would say to you, friend, you’re listening. What is something on your heart? There’s something heavy that you feel laden down by, a concern or a worry or an event or a broken friendship? That is a burden and if this is you, you’re going to get that that sense of conviction. You’re going to get a pang in your chest or your gut, or you’re going to have an emotional moment right now, as the Holy Spirit prods you where there’s love.
And this is where you need to find a friend to help you and point you to Jesus, who wants to take that burden away. And as we move through this prayer time in this holy huddle, this intimate circle, there were others in the room. There were other family members and there was Kathy and the team that I was travelling with and of course we had a translator who helped me understand what I needed to understand if and when necessary.
The Fear of Pain That is Stopping You Move Into God’s Help
But there was just a holy moment as a spirit of God descended and I believe I have absolute confidence that God was doing his healing work in them. For the next phase of their lives. And it was beautiful. there were a few tears, (That was me). And then they had some tears, and it was cool. And as it landed it kind of looked to the person on my team that kind of got us into the space and. And she made another request. And there was another family member sitting in the circle that was right back in the shadows, wasn’t really moving forward. We’d met, met this woman on the way in. Greeted. Hello.
But that was all. And they urged her to draw herself into the circle. And through the translator again. I got told a story about a very, very painful situation in her childhood that was connected to the family. It was. I’m just going to use the phrase family abuse, then you’ll know that it was connected to the family, and it was personal and painful. It’s actually physical. And it had left this deep, deep wound and what I discovered through the translator was that this was really a burden that this woman was carrying.
But she wasn’t able to see… Or maybe she did see. But through the conversation we had, we all recognise that the pain of the past was actually stopping her from moving into God’s future for her and the pain of her family history was in fact a big brick wall. That was causing her to fear making a commitment to what may even be a future spouse and I don’t know the relational situation, but whether she’s to marry this this man or not was not the point. What we discovered through the revelation of the Holy Spirit was the pain of her past.
The physical pain was causing a fear of commitment and a fear of vulnerability to move forward into her future. And that’s a burden. And you know, we again, we just sat there. Kathy was on one side of her. I was on the other side of her. And we just ministered God’s love to her and said. “Do you feel safe for me to pray with you?” And through her eyes full of tears. She’s trying to wipe away from behind her glasses. It was Kind of… You know, a little difficult, but you know. Like, “do you feel safe? Is it OK? Can we pray with you? Is this a safe circle for you?” And she nodded, and she cried. And we watched the father minister his safe love to her and remove some of that Unforgiveness and remove the pain and reveal his proximity.
You know I love that question. ‘Jesus, would you show us where were you in this situation? How close are you to us, you know, to remove that that accusation or that lie, the enemy plants that God is absent.’ Cause trust me, God is never absent from our pain. And so, I point this back to you, and I’d say, you know, is there a fear of pain or, is there a fear from pain that is stopping you moving into God’s help that he has for you in the future?
And again, think about the benefit of a burden shared. Who is a Bible believing Jesus worshipping friend, that you can sit with? That will share the burden, to point you to Jesus, to help him, to bring that healing and think about the benefit of a burden removed because God wants to take away the pain, he wants to take away the fear he wants you to trust him with your future and not let the past be the inhibitor that would stop there. So again, if God’s prompting you in there, I’m happy because God wants to do something about it with you and for you.
The Long Term Disappointment Due to Life Not Being Easy
You know, we thought we were finished. It’s getting late. And I looked to my friend, and she indicated that she had something else to share and we moved around the circle and her elderly mother had been sitting with us. She was a beautiful, peaceful looking old lady, you know, with the warm tones of the Indonesian skin and yet wrinkled to the point that it looked like crumpled up leather. And I mean that lovingly and respectfully. She had soft eyes, her bare feet, legs crossed under her long dress and a shawl around her because for her it was cold. It was nighttime and for me I’m sitting there going for It’s hot.
Anyway, she you know, she hadn’t said much of A word as she’d watched her family receive this Grace of Jesus. And then another family member told her story of long-term disappointment a husband who was a drunk and physically abusive, who had abandoned his wife and eight children. And I looked into the eyes of this Woman, I have no idea how old she is. It’s really irrelevant. But this old woman I looked into her deep dark eyes, and I just saw the pain of disappointment. You know, the tiredness of raising eight children on her own and some of that, some of those children, that it didn’t go so well. According to the story and. And I just felt the love of God for her and the desire that God would heal the long-term disappointment that comes when life is not easy and it’s not easy for a long time.
And again, we gathered all of us. We gathered around this woman, and she just sat on a stool on the inside this family’s business. And they just shook as the grief was released. As long-term grief, waves of grief were taken away by Jesus and his love.
And you know, I don’t I just wonder for people that are listening, you know, sometimes for me I’ve had to come to terms with long term seasons of struggle do result in long term disappointment I’ve had to accept that’s actually real. It’s the body. In the mind, it’s like our emotions that are caught up in our Body and our mind. The emotions are sending us signals And God Uses those signals as signposts to point to something that’s out of balance or not right that he wants to heal.
And so, I’ve had to learn that long term struggles that lead to long term disappointment, is a burden that is not ours to carry alone. And so, for you listening, you know, where are you at with that. Is there a long-term situation that’s resulting in a in a long-term disappointment? and I’d say give it over to Jesus and allow him… invite him in. Ask him to carry it for you and lead you out of that sea. And I pray that you have the boldness and the bravery, the courage to come before God and be vulnerable before him.
What About You?
So, as I as I finish here, I would just, I’d really say… Don’t carry heavy burdens. Heavy burdens are not ours to carry alone. Think about the benefit of a burden shared and think about the benefit of a burden removed. And finally, I would just say for me. You know, this is what my reflection is on this time that we’ve had together is for me to be a minister before others, I first need to allow the Lord to Minister to me, and sometimes. You know the risk for me is I get in front of someone, whether it’s an audience or a one-on-one situation. And if I try to Minister out of my brokenness. Then that’s definitely obvious, and I’ve got the risk of ministering in the flesh, or even an unclean spirit, if that’s present.
But when I minister from a place of brokenness that the Lord has brought his love into, then it’s all about what he can do, not what I can do. And so, I’m just confessing that for me to be a minister before others, I first need to allow the Lord to Minister to me. Now, let’s translate that to you. The importance of you going on this journey is not just for you. The importance of you going on this journey is so that, from your place of healing you can be the one who shares the burden and points others to the healing solution that God has for them. But do it from a place of healing. Do it from a place of connection with God. Do it from a place of his strength made perfect in your brokenness.
And let me finish by saying I want to point to the next podcast that I’m about to record for episode 50. It is a good one. Watch out for it on the channel, we drop new episodes every week. Thanks for being on the journey with us. Thanks for listening to the podcast or watching it wherever you are. We’re looking to expand these things, so keep an eye on what we’re doing. There are transcriptions, there’s a reference notes. And as always, we ask that you subscribe to the podcast on every channel and share it with your friends that they might also be encouraged. God bless you. Whoever you are, have a fantastic week and I’ll be back. With you real soon.