In this episode of “Coffee with Phil” (Episode 58), Phil delves into the struggle of escapism and avoiding the temptation to create false realities. Drawing from his own challenges, Phil emphasizes the importance of staying connected, refocusing on God’s calling, removing clutter, breaking agreement with negative influences, and seeking God’s strength. As believers, Phil discusses how escapism contradicts the fundamental truth that God is always good. He concludes with a prayer to release negative beliefs and find healthy ways to face reality. Join Phil on this journey of faith, as he navigates the complexities of life and shares practical insights for a genuine, faith-filled existence.
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Introduction
OK, welcome back. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to coffee with Phil, my name is Phil. I’m your host and It’s just a privilege to be sharing with you this life of faith. We talk about faith made real. We’re talking about the journey and there’s so many different aspects to the journey. If you want to scroll through the episodes. Just go back through, you know, 2023 it was last year. We’ve got episodes numbered there. We’ve got headings there, there’s transcripts there, there’s links. But look for something that’s really going to smack you. Because I’m trying to keep this diverse range to help people on a journey.
I’m trying to unpack and uncover some of the challenges I’m walking through, being open. And then hopefully to your benefit so that it’s helpful, we want to get practical. I don’t just want you to listen to this and go, oh, it’s nice for you, but I really want you to journey it and take it to the Lord. And see what he’ll say to you throughout the journey. Because, hey, we’re supposed to do this together. Iron sharpens iron. Each one of us in faith is family. So, we’re designed by God as a family, created to work together so that we can help each other.
So big shout out. Hope you’re doing well and I’m connecting this episode straight away and connecting it to coffee with Phil Episode 57. So, if you just landed here, it’s not going to make sense to you. But it’s a follow up from Coffee with Phil episode 57 with fighting the urge to escape, and today’s episode is coffee with Phil episode 58.
While we’re having coffee together, we’re going to talk about how to avoid it. I’m going to take it to another level hopefully today. Sorry. Last time I talked about creating false realities, looking outside of our reality to make a new world in our imagination, to avoid the pain and the struggle of our current reality. I talked in the last episode about how this is temptation. It’s not you that’s making this up. It’s the fiery darts of the enemy, of your soul. Who is sending these to take you out if you don’t hold up the shield of faith, which is what we’ll talk about today.
Then you will come under attack and be prone to deception and last time I talked about where that might lead.
Hey, look, I was aware life has been tough for many of us. It’s been, you know, five years or so and like, but even within COVID, you know, like I think COVID is going to be something that we can hold up in hindsight and learn a lot from as we were journeying through all of it none of us knew what we were walking into or trying to walk out of. But we learnt to hide during COVID, didn’t we? We were put into isolation, told to stay safe, and in some cases, there were many fear tactics used through the media or communication, or even some families lived in fear.
And so, we learnt to hide. We were training ourselves to hide. And I would say some people are still hiding. Some people have not learned to come out of isolation, and they’re hiding from the current world and hoping that it passes them by.
But let me take that one little deeper and say when we lived in sin and darkness, when we lived a life of deception. We learnt to hide, did we not? I talked about Adam and Eve. What happened when they ate the apple, and they knew that they had taken God off the throne. The first thing they did was hide. And God said, why are you hiding when we knew that we were out of place with you.
And so hiding escapism is hiding. Escapism is hiding from God or living in a broken connection with God. And that’s why we want to avoid escapism. And look I’ve been processing this personally because you know my life is full of challenges. And I’m not outside or above that level, you know, like I don’t live at this level where I get to avoid temptation. Like if anything I suppose because I’m a minister maybe the devil wants to target me more? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because I’m an easy target. I don’t know. But this is something that we all struggle with.
Why is This a Problem for Believers?
And so why is this? I want to talk about it at the beginning. Why is this such a massive problem for believers? So, in the context of Christian faith, we talk about a believer as someone who believes in Jesus. If we are calling ourselves a believer, that means we profess to believe in something or someone. And so, in a Christian context, we believe in Christ, we profess Christ as the son of God. The Bible says in Romans 10. If you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ is the son of God, then you’ll be saved.
So therefore, if we will believe… And it means we believe in something or in our case, as Christians, we believe in someone with their salvation and Faith in God is what we profess. Then it means that we must therefore accept we are his child now. Just recently I quoted. I’m just going to quickly get it up on the screen, Ephesians one, because I haven’t got it memorised, but in verse four we see this. God chose us even before he made the world. God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes.
God decided in advance to adopt us into his family, bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ and this is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. What does this mean? This means that through what Jesus has done, we’ve become the children of God, this is just the 101 of faith. But the reality is… you know we’ve got to understand that if we say we’re a believer we’re saying we believe in Jesus. If we say we believe in Jesus, then we absolutely need to understand that we are God’s children now. If we’re saying we’re God’s children and we’re saying that God’s, our father. Then we’ve got to accept that our Heavenly Father is always good. This is Just a fundamental Kingdom of God principle, God is always good, even when life feels bad, God is still. A good Heavenly Father is always good.
Even when life feels bad. God is always good. Now, if we are going to get tempted away from that truth. Then we must say we’re not believers. Ouch, that’s rough. Because what we’re doing is we’re doing exactly what Adam and Eve did. We’re taking God off his throne. We’re saying no, you’re not a good father. My life sucks. Therefore, you can’t be good. So, because you’re not good, I’m going to create a different reality in my imagination. I’m going to escape into it, thinking I’m going to dream and hope. And sometimes even live like that’s my reality to avoid the pain of the struggle because I don’t trust God is good.
Ohh man. So, look, I’m saying this as a positive and preaching this to myself to say, come on, Phil, you’ve got to admit that you do believe God is good. Yes, I do. God is always good. I give thanks to God for his mercy and that it is new every morning to me. And his faithfulness is as strong as the sun. Well, if that’s the case. Then I really believe. And then I’ve got to say God is good. Therefore, I can’t allow myself to slide into escapism, and the fantasy of living in a false truth which is different to what God sees.
So, we’re talking today how do we avoid this escapism? Well, I want to hold up a flag. That should encourage you. Because God is good all the time, and because God is good all the time, we’ve got to know that he’s taking us on a journey towards the goodness he wants us to live. God has put you there as his child, seated you next to his son Jesus, and he wants to point to you for all of eternity that you’re an example of his goodness. So, God’s doing something. But here’s the main point. If you divert from his reality then you divert from your destiny, if you divert from his reality, meaning God’s truth about you for you, your future. Then you will divert yourself from your destiny.
Divert From Reality, Divert From Destiny
God has good plans for all of us that he’s actively leading us into. He’s shaping us. He’s discipling us. He’s disciplining us. He’s training us. He’s strengthening us. He’s building in us the demonstration of Christ to all the world. And yet some of us don’t like the process. Some like the pain, some don’t. The struggle, and by some of us, I mean me. You know, it’s hard, man. It’s hard and time and time again, I bang my head against the desk and my Bible or the cast. And I’m like, God, this is not easy. And he’s like, I didn’t make it easy. I made it so it would make you who I have already ordained for you to be, and I believe in you and. It’s who I created you to be, and it’s the destiny that I’ve prepared for you that I would point to you for all eternity as an example of my goodness. Why would you need to hide from that reality?
Seeking to escape into a false reality and a false truth means we’re choosing alternate plans to what God’s prepared. We’re saying, God, I’m taking you off the throne, just like Adam and Eve did, I’m taking you off the throne. I will put myself there, and I’m going to fabricate and create a different reality and a fantasy about who I might be, who I might live with or who I might do life with, where I might work and the lifestyle I might enjoy. I’m taking you off this throne and putting me on throne I’m saying God, I’m in charge.
And in doing so, we divert from our destiny and God’s like, hey, I want to lead you. And sometimes, you know, he leads us through the desert for 40 years, but he will ultimately hope that we will come to a place where we yield and say, God, you are good, you are true. And I want to talk through that process.
So, here’s my point with regards to destiny, here’s a question for me and for you. What happens to the world if God’s agents of change. Meaning you and me. If we check out our assignment? So, God has got plans. He’s got good things for you. He’s got an assignment for you. He’s got a place that you fit into his plan for the salvation of the world. Big or small doesn’t matter. None of us are Ryan Bonnke. None of us are Mother Teresa, because they’ve been and gone. They’ve done their assignments.
Now, with each kind of assignment. Even if it’s just washing the dishes and putting them away, we’ve got an assignment. But what happens to the world if God’s agents of Change, which is you and me. If we choose to check out of our assignment and create a new reality for ourselves? The world misses out on seeing the love of God in action; Seeing Christ in you, the hope of glory, the world was resound in seeing the resurrection power of Christ alive in your testimony and your missing out on it because you decided to go a different way and now I’ve had to get back and into a place of repentance and saying, God, I am sorry for any way that I have created a different reality around the way I think my life should go and I repent of partnering with that, I just don’t want it anymore.
And I want to talk through that. So how are we going to deal with this? You know, this has been… I’m being honest with this. It’s been a struggle for me because you know, life’s just been challenging, and you know the people around me and I’m trying to work with and lead them. You know we’re staying connected like that’s the big thing. And if you break connection with those who God has called you to Journey with. You’re at higher risk of getting sucked into this and becoming addicted to the fantasy of the false reality.
So, I’ve worked hard at protecting connection, and a couple of examples of that, Kathy and I learned this years ago that you know we’re going to face challenges. There’s going to be something that comes to try and separate us not so much that’s like, “hey look, you’re no longer married” but even separate you from being in agreement with one another and the way that we protect that is to protect our connection, we learned this years ago and not early enough. Not soon enough, but we often say we need to protect our connection. How we protect our connection. We come together; we talk about things. We pray about things, and we come to a place where we can feel connected. Even if life is tough. Right.
So, I’ve had to protect my connection with Kathy to make sure I don’t get sucked into the false reality of living in a totally different place where she’s not. I’ve had to go back to this, you know, even though the devil says, “are you sure you should be doing what you’re doing is this the job for you? You’re not the guy.” And I’m going, OK well I’m not asking you that question, I’m prepared to ask the Lord that question I’m prepared to take it to the Lord, to protect my connection with him and say “Lord, I’m yielding myself to your plan, your process, your pathway, your purposes and your timing. I’m just going to check in here in the right place, we’re doing and then we’ll do what he asked me to do. And if the Lord says yes then I bind myself to that. But it doesn’t mean that it’s not a struggle. It doesn’t mean that the devil doesn’t seem to fire it up and say “Hey, man, look, what about this? Can I tempt you to consider A different reality?”
And so, I want to finish at the end of this with a couple of things. I want to talk about what I’m doing about it. I’m going to give you 4 things which are absolutely simple, but they are just reminders for all of us and then I’ve got a link. I’m going to put in the description I’ll read you a Prayer that my friend Wrote but I’m going to. Put the link to her blog in the transcription at the bottom, so you’ll be able to get that through the resources, so make sure you check it out.
4 Steps to Avoid Escapism
So, what’s the best way to avoid escapism? What I found the first step is to really focus myself on the call God’s given me, the purpose he’s given me, and the assignment he’s given me. Now you won’t settle on the same thing, and I don’t want to argue semantics. I think there’s a big life mission, and then there’s assignments within that. That’s the way I view life. So, you know, ultimately, we’re called to become more like Jesus. Well, that’s obviously our life, but what’s inside there? Where has God planted us and who has he implanted us? And why has he put us there?
and so, it’s not a bad idea just to get back on your knees in your prayer closet and have a conversation with him when you’re driving in the car and say God, can you remind me, take me back to the time of when you called me into this season. And what did God say? Who are you with? How are you feeling? What did you hear God say? And how did you know to say yes? Because there will be conviction there and you’ve got to reconnect with conviction and as I’m saying it, or just since that’s the nugget of truth for you right now, wherever you are, you got to reconnect with the conviction that God will be shifting you into the space you’re in now and he is trying to confirm to you that you’re in that space now.
It’s possible that the season is closed, and if you ask that question and God says no. Your grace has lifted off that and it’s time to move. Well then at least you know. Right. Because you asked me a question. But usually, I find when the devil is tempting us, he’s tempting us away from what God has called us into. He is not tempting you into what God is doing. So that’s not unusual.
So, we focus on the calling, the purpose, the assignment. Just have an honest conversation with God. Greater coffee. That’s always a good idea. Or a cup of tea and a biscuit. Get a blank sheet of paper. And just ask God some honest questions and just write down the first thing that you feel he’s saying to you. Refocus so that you reconnect with the conviction. Key point here.
The second thing that I’m working on is removing clutter. I have shared openly and honestly in the last year about my quest to move toward a more slowed down spirituality. Spending more time with Jesus and spending less time juggling balls, plates and Issues that are distracting me from the main thing. It’s like the other day I came home. And said to Kathy. Hey, how’s your day? And she was at home for the day, and she said Ohh. I had a nice productive day today. She said I started off by clearing this draw out and that led me to shift this thing here, and then I tidied that draw up to make room for a person and by then I moved into my wardrobe, and I tidied up these things. What was she doing? She was removing clutter.
Sometimes the best thing we can do to avoid escapism is to take away the things that are wearing us down or distract us from Jesus, and a simple way to say that is to remove clutter from your life. I’ve talked about safe boundaries with you before. I’ve talked about maybe removing people. In my life, I’m certainly talking about removing the temptations that the devil is firing at you. You don’t want those around. So, we’ll move that clutter.
The third thing that I want to share with you is to. Break agreement with the unclean spirit. Now this is a formal thing. It’s a transactional thing. I believe that God is. He’s tight on order and is doing things the right way, and there’s grace for everything. And I think God is saying I want to help you, but if you’re still in agreement with the unclean spirit, I’d like you to break that agreement.
And So, what you’re doing is you’re just saying I break agreement with the unclean spirit that tempts me into a reality that’s different from what God’s got for me. I repent and I ask forgiveness. I’m turning away and I’m asking God to forgive me. And I receive forgiveness for the mistakes I’ve made. And as I do this, I’m going to receive right now from God. Just a revelation that I’m loved that I’m walking with him in the corners of the Garden of Eden that was closely connected and that I can hear his voice and I can follow his voice. And that’s just going to help you to come back to that place of walking with God.
And finally, fourthly, and I did talk about this in the last episode in Coffee with Phil episode 57, when I pointed you to Philippians, Chapter 4 is we want to connect with the strength of God because you and me both we don’t have the strength to do this on our own. And I find when you give thanks to God, you receive from God the strength that’s sufficient for the journey. Paul wrote that it’s a completely different passage, in second Corinthians 12. He’s like Jesus, take this away take this struggle away. And three times, Paul said, take it away and God said no. And then Jesus says this, and I know it’s Jesus because it’s red in my Bible. So that means clever people worked out the spirit of Jesus, was Speaking to Paul, he said. My strength is made perfect in your weakness. So, ask God for his strength. Ask Jesus. To strengthen you. And there’s a way that you can do that.
So, my friend, Donna Dasilva, wrote several blogs on something she’s naming as a fantasy spirit. She’s not creating things, she’s just saying, look, if we give it a name based on how it tempts us, then it helps us to fight the right fight. I’m paraphrasing what she said there, but she’s shared on this post now and I’ll put the link in the description below to her blog. Here’s a closing prayer and we’ll read it out over here. You can say yes, and you mean to agree with it. But. Perhaps you should actually find the prayer. And pray it out loud in your car or in your prayer closet. Here’s the closing prayer.
“Thank you, Jesus, that you have godly and healthy ways for me to deal with disappointment. I hand to you whatever negative belief is attaching to itself to me right now, I hand to you discouragement. I hand to you, hopelessness, I hand to you the need to be rescued. I hand to you my desire to escape. I release myself and others from any unmet expectations. Reveal your truth to me and give me strategies to face reality with boldness. I ask for grace to walk in healthy ways of managing my expectations. “
Well, this was an interesting couple of episodes, and I really do hope and pray that you as you walk through this. That you find the freedom that God’s prepared for you and the expectation that God’s highlighting these things and he’s drawn you to listen to this Podcast wherever you are, however you found this podcast drawing you in because he’s leading you into a greater degree of freedom and reconnection with what he wants to do in your life.
And so, as you do that. I would celebrate in advance and in faith. I’m celebrating right now on behalf of you. For what You’re going to walk into. The breakthrough that’s coming for you and how you’re going to be a representation of his love and his goodness to those that are around you. All praise and glory to God for the good things that he’s doing.
And if you want to reach out to me, you can contact me through the channels that we published this on and it would be great to connect with you so we can continue the journey of faith, living faith, and just making it real and doing it together and not doing it in isolation. So, thanks for joining me for this episode of Coffee with Phil. And I look forward to catching up with you soon, sharing my life and being a part of your world as we do faith together. So, take care and have a fantastic day.