“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.” Ephesians 4:31 ESV
Today, during one of my searches I came across a post on Facebook about Fred Rodgers (A well known American television host and Presbyterian Minister) and his friend Henri Nouwen (A Dutch Catholic priest, professor, writer, and theologian).
Both of these men, as trained members of their spiritual traditions, held a solid foundation in the Bible and in God, and both of them impacted many people in deeply profound ways.
Both of them impacted many people in deeply profound ways.
I have a number of American friends who have on more than one occasion spoken of the positive impact of ‘Mr Rodgers’.
In the post the author talks about letters shared between the two men, one in particular, where Fred Rodgers shares with Henri Nouwen unpleasant things that have been said about him in an article.
The person in the article questioned Fred Rodgers intentions.
There are a few things that really impacted me from Henri Nouwen’s reply, (you can read the full post HERE.)
Wisdom from Henri Nouwen.
HE:
- Acknowledged his friend had been hurt.
- Highlighted that the person who had said the hurtful things had misunderstood Fred’s mission and spiritual intention.
- Pointed out that attacks like these, while hurtful, were too be expected, and that the most painful hurts often came from those we expected support from. It was Jesus experience and the experience of many of His followers.
- Suggested that it wouldn’t make sense to argue with the person who had made the nasty comments, that the individual would not be in a place to hear them.
- Suggests that they pray for each other, so that they could “continue to return to the center where we can find the joy and peace that is not of this world”
We likely have, or will have, the experience of someone questioning our intentions. There will be people who will not be inclined to listen to your heart, to your reasons, or to the mission God has specifically tasked you with.
When the pain of criticism comes your way, it can easily become an opportunity for bitterness to grow.
Don’t let it. Find a safe, trusted person. Someone who knows you. Someone who knows your heart and your intentions.
Acknowledge the hurt.
Be aware that arguing is unlikely to change the other persons opinon.
Know that you are not alone.
Pray with your friend.
When you know the intentions of your heart, remind yourself of the truth, know you are not alone, and surround yourself with people who will pray with and for you. You set yourself up to drive out bitterness.
When bitterness is driven away it has no chance to fester and how much more joy filled and God aligned are our lives when we aren’t weighed down by the pain of bitterness.