We read our Bibles, and listen to messages, secure in the knowledge that we have no idols. Afterall, none of us sit at alters worshipping a golden calf, none of us have created an image to worship out of wood or metal. But maybe my idol looks different than the idols of our Biblical counterparts.
And do not turn aside after empty things that cannot profit or deliver, for they are empty. – 1 Samuel 12:21 (ESV)
Last week I went with my son to camp. It was awesome. And it was exhausting. And it exposed some truths that I would much rather pretend I was unaware of.
Like most people my size, I am well aware that I am both unfit and overweight. But few things will make you more aware of that truth than walking up what I like to refer to as the ‘hill of death’ and then follow up that eye opening experience with a touch of caving. Pushing my gasping, wheezing, dizzy body up a hill, then forcing it to squeeze between crushing rocks is the least subtle way I could ever consider to expose body insecurity or a latent fear of the dark. Add to that jumping on a tramp and finding you can not only no longer do ‘tricks’ that you once found simple, but that you sort of just bounce into an inelegant seated position in the centre of the well stretched mat, and you have the recipe for uncovering idols.
We tend to think of idols as being these obvious physical things, and they are, but often we overlook the idols that live in our minds. Which is why, when this experience sent my brain down well-worn neural pathways I wasn’t entirely surprised. I have invested years into trying to get my body to conform to the expectations of the culture I live in. I have dieted off and on for almost twenty years, restricting calories and entire food groups. I have exercised obsessively. I have done everything I could to shrink my body. It has never lasted, and if anything it has damaged an already fragile relationship with my body and food. So, when my brain started travelling down the spiral of body shaming, and mental preparation to begin yet another diet, it was interesting for me to have God’s voice break through the fog reminding me that this was not what he had in mind for me.
Over the last few years God has encouraged a different type of eating and moving for me. But that isn’t actually important. What is important is that after this experience God showed me something I had never truly understood. My body had become an idol, food had become an idol, and they were standing in the way of my true purpose.
I had been worshipping and meditating on the creation instead of the Creator. Every time I attempted to shrink my body not only did I spend all my time thinking about my body, I constantly thought about food, exercise, clothing, it was all I could seem to fit into my life, all I could seem to talk about. I was always thinking about, or planning my next meal. I was always starving. All my mental energy was focussed on those things, which left very little room for God, and no room at all for the true purpose he had placed on my life.
The desire to change my body was empty, it never provided the results I wanted, I was always striving for more, any results achieved never lasted, and more than that, it was a distraction from the one thing that could and would actually help me put my life into some kind of order, God.
I’m no expert at putting God first, I drop the ball on a daily and sometimes hourly basis, and I’m certainly no expert at caring for my body. But what I do know is that in Matthew 6:33 the Bible promises that if I “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, all these things will be added to me.”.
I know that in chasing my idols I sunk deeper and deeper into a place that lacked joy and hope. I know that whether my idol is body, food, acceptance, prosperity, or anything else the world tells me I should value, ultimately it falls flat and leads me to a place that lacks the peace and joy that only an ever growing relationship with God can provide.
So, when you next feel yourself being drawn into a place of worry. A place of obsession. A place of striving. I encourage you to ask, could this be my idol? And no matter your answer, it couldn’t hurt to pray and ask God what his opinion is, that is certainly what I will be trying to do.
Karla Rose