2023 has been an interesting year where I feel like I have been clinging to my faith by the threads on Jesus’ robe.
After my water baptism last summer, and my wedding in April my attendance at church has been spotty at best. Despite this, I made the decision to come to the Night Watch last week. I broke free of the hold the enemy had on my thoughts that I was not worthy to come to Night Watch, and I ended up coming for 3 of the 4 shifts. This is the most consistent time I have spent with God in years.
All was going well, I felt an amazing connection to the Holy Spirit, who was very much present at the Night Watch. I felt so connected, that the concept “Sing like no one is listening” was running through my head. While there were people in the room with me, I sung like it was just me connecting with and praising Jesus through song.
In the middle of the second watch, when it was time to pray for healing for each other I felt the niggle of self-doubt again. The panic was overwhelming. All I wanted to do was run from the glory of God. Apparently, I needed to cry. As said in Psalm 69:3(NIV) “I am worn out calling for help; my throat is parched. My eyes fail, looking for my God.” I felt despair. I needed release, I needed breakthrough and I needed to trust in Abba Father.
While my eyes were full of tears, I had prophetic word spoken over me from God, that my voice is beautiful and that I should be using it. In this moment, I chose to break 16 years of negative self-belief, that told me I needed to shackle my voice, my excitement, my passion for life, and my love of singing. Those words of life spoken over me reminded me that “the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21 NIV).
As a response to the words spoken over me and the freedom I have received, this week, I booked in those singing lessons I have been longing for since I was 14, but felt that I was never good enough for it. I am good enough to learn. I will speak life. And if I can do it, then you can too.
Kate Donghi