Working for the Lord sounds… easy? Okay, maybe not easy, but doable. Doable, but, not simple. Especially if, like me, you’re a people pleaser.
Colossians 3:23-24 – “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”
The thing about people pleasing is that it very easy to get side-tracked from what you’ve actually been tasked to do, because you become so consumed with either not upsetting someone, or keeping them happy, that you stop considering what God wants, what he originally set out for you to do.
It’s possible that in your desire to please others, you may actually be doing something good, but you will likely be finding yourself getting tired, frustrated, hurt, and generally start feeling terrible, you may even find that the job or role you had once loved is something you want to escape.
It’s hard to be passionate and positive about your calling if you have allowed yourself to be distracted from it, especially if you are doing something purpose adjacent, rather than your actual purpose.
I can’t say I have successfully achieved the reframe that allows me to disregard the demands of people who aren’t God. I haven’t yet learned to stop pleasing people. I haven’t learned to turn off the hurt and self-deprecation that comes from disappointing or upsetting someone making requests or demands of me. But I’m trying. Because I truly want to live a lifestyle of joy and contentment, and I know that ultimately that comes from living a life for the audience of One, living with Him in mind, rather than trying, and often failing, at making others happy.
If I am living for an audience of One, as in considering God, what he likes, would want, and how he would feel, in the same way that I worry about the thoughts, opinions and reactions of the people I try to please, would I be doing what I was doing? Would I care what the people around me think? I genuinely believe the answer is no.
I believe the trick to stopping people pleasing and start God pleasing looks a bit like this.
Make God your filter.
Every time you’re making a choice, ask yourself “how would God feel about this?”. I know, it seems like it should be easy, but I’m aware that it also sounds hard. I just want to point out that you probably already do this, with someone else in God’s place, or you have in the past.
I know that as a child I would consider how my parents or teachers would react to a choice I was making. As an adult I consider how what I do is going to affect my husband, my kids, my boss, and my co-workers. From what I can tell this is the same process, you just redirect your filter from the other people you are considering to first check in and see if God would be happy with it.
Get to know God.
To make God your filter, to know and truly consider what God’s preferences are, requires you to actually get to know God. That means getting into your Bible. Read the stories, see how he reacted to the situations, people, and behaviours of the people in his word, they are a pretty solid indication of what he does and doesn’t like.
Be aware of the last thing God told you.
Knowing what God has told you requires talking to him, that means prayer. It means setting aside time to sit, pray, think, and allow him to direct your thoughts. I know that sometimes our minds go some weird places, but this is where the practice of writing things down, and then running them through your ‘God filter’ will come into play. The other thing worth noting is that sometimes what God asks you to do will change. Some tasks are for a season and a reason, but they have a limited timeframe, and outside of that time frame he has something new for you.
God loves you.
Unlike the people you might try to please, God has unlimited grace and patience for you. So even if you get things entirely wrong he isn’t going to reject you because of it. Yes, you may need to deal with the consequences of your mistakes, but he won’t suddenly become a stranger, he will not withdraw his love from you.
Living for an audience of One. It’s one of those things that I believe is part of our greater purpose, and I for one want to be able to do it well.